|Senior Basketball League|
Sorry I couldn't join you for the end of season banquet, however, please enjoy two of my favorate jokes!
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Louisiana. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited. The geezer's second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart and vengeful will, managed to get to his feet, and said, "Okay, you old coot; now it's my turn."
The geezer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local saw mill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the sawmill. A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw. So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to the Hospital. Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising". And sure enough, there's Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily, Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to the hospital. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead." Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in." "No", says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated".
AGAIN, HAVE A GREAT SUMMER AND I'LL SEE YOU IN SEPTEMBER!!!